
The election is almost here. Who are you voting for?.... Corrupt and Clueless or the Shady Socialist?
This is not a political blog, but I'm going to pretend that I am the "supplemental" campaign advisor to both candidates and their running mates. After months on the campaign trail, all four are in need of some beneficial nutrients to make it through the next four years.
Let's start with John McCain. His battle with facial cancer is well publicized, but surgery after surgery doesn't solve anything. I'd tell him to spread DMSO on his cheek, and take AHCC orally to boost his immune system. The senator's age is another factor. The commander in chief has to be sharp, but he recently addressed a crowd as "My fellow prisoners". Do you know something we don't. Check out this other slip up in Pennsylvania.
Regardless, more brain power is needed. A good choice for increased blood flow and cognitive enhancement would be an acetyl- l-carnitine and alpha lipoic acid along with vinpocetine. You'll avoid future mistakes, probably. One other comment I'd like to make. McCain grimaces too much. That can mean only one thing.... colon cleanse. Loosen up John.
Sarah Palin, how can I sugarcoat this? Borrow some of John's brain supplements, and increase dosage. Her interviews are a lot like this one.
I never get sick of watching that. Sarah, it's clear that you chemical load is way too high. Buy natural makeup and hair care products, and detox for an entire year.
Barack Obama, this is a tough one. He seems healthy and together, and I can't think of anything funny to say about him. I have to come up with something, so I would advise him to drink a protein shake as a meal replacement because he is constantly traveling and not eating right.
Also, Obama is currently going through andropause, so his testosterone levels are low. Supplement with tribulus and stop dancing. See what I mean. Not that funny and kind of boring.
Joe Biden is agitated, angry and depressed. At least, that's how I see it. He hides behind that devilish smile, because he's hiding something else. This guy needs plenty of GABA and l-tryptophan. Natural muscle relaxers and anti-depressants are the only options for Biden in 2009. Stock up.
Speaking of Joe, I gotta say that this "Joe the Plumber" dude is driving me insane. Why are you still mentioned on TV every five minutes? Do you know that he is thinking about writing a song and a book? Joe the Plumber's new single, "Snaking the Toilet" is sure to hit number one on the charts, and his upcoming book, entitled, "A Clog Too Far" is supposed to be a New York Times best seller. Take fo-ti for hair growth, and don't forget to sign my copy.
Whatever happened to Joe Sixpack? He must have been arrested for a DUI on the way to the rally.
Whomever takes the presidency, bring your cleaning supplies. The White House has been filthy for the last eight years. SOooooooo dirty. Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap should get the stink out, at least temporarily.
And the winner is......................... everybody that didn't vote. ..................Matt